Variables

After reading Guanaco's "Lousy lesson " post today, I started to think about all the variables that are present when we sit down to play the cello. Considering all the possible combinations and permutations of endpin length, chair height, cello angle, music stand height, bow hair tension, tuning, room acoustics, lighting, and atmospheric conditions such as temperature and humidity, is it any wonder that we encounter difficulties in our playing and performing? It's doubtful that we ever play under the same exact conditions twice.

Concert Musings

Nerve-wracking. Yes .... BUT ...
I'd do it again in a heartbeat (make that "palpitation" as during the Karelia Suite).

On our way home from the concert last night I was telling my husband about a few of the places where I'd gotten lost in a couple of the pieces. He stopped me and said to focus on the positive outcome, not the negative. Then he posed 2 questions: 1. Did I feel proud that I'd gotten up on the stage and performed this very difficult music. (answer: Yes) 2. Did I feel that I'd made progress in my playing over the past 3 months because of all my hard work. (answer: Yes)

Most importantly, besides feeling a sense of accomplishment, I have a feeling of camaraderie with the members of the orchestra. This is what makes the work, the struggle and all the anxiety worth while. This is why I will continue.

The Pain of Pavane

Last night, after returning home from a horrendous dress rehearsal, I dreamed that I broke a tooth and had to go to the dentist today. The receptionist told me I could come in this evening, and I said that would be great. But then I remembered the concert, so had to change it to an afternoon appointment. I decided to bring along the music for Pavane [on which I totally got lost last night] to study while I was getting the dental work done. Maybe what this really means is that I'd rather go to the dentist than play in tonight's concert!

So ... Why am I doing this?

Because I love music. And I love playing with the orchestra.

(obviously reheasal went well last night)

I'll post more after the break. (Think Ryan Seacrest here.)
I mean ... after trip to the mall with my daughter to help her pick out her honeymoon wardrobe, and after we work on wedding invitations.

Practicing ... NOT!!!! Ranting ... yes.

I should be practicing. But I'm not. Why? ... Because I'm sitting here staring at blogs and contemplating quitting orchestra. This is supposed to be fun. It was fun at the holiday concert, but it's not fun anymore. The music is too hard. There shouldn't be any crying in cello.

After last week's rehearsal, which Maestro described as "eh", he sent out this in his global email:
"Last night I walked away from rehearsal contemplating a lot of things. Are we doing too much music? Is the music too hard? Am I pushing everyone too far? Should we dumb down the music? Should I lower my standards and expectations? Should we just play all the time and NOT practice? ... I am NOT going to let the recent history of the pops effect the musical integrity of this orchestra and its members. [not sure what he meant by this ] My standards are going to only go higher. It's about time that this orchestra raises itself to another level."

I'll participate in the concert, but I'm not enjoying this right now.